Last Hoop Jumped through

That's it. My six hour qualifier is done! I feel terrific. This was an amazing swimming weekend. Every aspect surpassed my expectations. I met Steffan Sarkin and his wife, from Arkansas (and the Channel chat line). He was a super swimmer. Strong and fast. And his energy was a pleasure to share. We swam Friday evening in balmy 57-58 degree water and then enjoyed a meal. Then Saturday morning we met Suzie Dods at the Club at 7:00 am and jumped in for a two hour adventure. We swam right outside the cove to Fort Mason against a strong flood. Steffan is so much faster than I am that the poor guy was basically on his own in cold unfamiliar waters. He was a champ. We were joined by several Sunriser swimmers whose pilot failed to show. So I got to swim with Diana and Kristen much to my joy. We had a great meal, saw a bit of the Barcelona vs Man United game and then jumped back into the bay for another two hours. Steffan was shocked by the temperature, but I was excited that it wasn't colder. We swam in the wind and some rain, but mostly ok weather. This was all a prelude to me attempting to swim my six hour English Channel Qualifying swim. I went home Saturday night a very nervous girl. The longest I had been in the bay to date was three hours, and now I was planning on six? What was I thinking. I had some serious doubts. So I sent out my fears to the club. I emailed the SERC chat line what I was planning along with all of my reservations and no surprise, people flocked to the club Sunday morning to support me.
My plan was to swim 12 Coves and feed every 30 minutes as I passed the SERC dock. I started out by chasing Steffan down to the flag, and then I was on my own. But when I came to the dock for the first feed there was Danielle ready to spur me on. I had told everyone in my email that I was worried that it would be hard to feed and then "turn right" and start off on the next lap because on the first leg of the circuit the wind is in your face, you are swimming against the current and waves slap you on every breath. And you know that you have to do it again, and again. So it was super to have someone calling me down the buoy line. Every time I hit the dock there were different people smiling, cheering and encouraging me onward. At the two hour mark, Joe, Bryce and Don jumped in, and Joe stayed for the entire middle two hours. This was huge. I knew I could make two hours, and I thought I could do the last hour since I would be like the horse that can see the barn on the ride home, but those middle hours were a bit fuzzy, and I was worried I might falter. So Joe was a real trooper. At four hours, Joe went in, but I didn't know it because Eddie and Barry took his place. I was thrilled. Eddie was crazy, he wore flippers and had a kick board. He was like a big puppy throwing the kick board ahead of us and then butterflying to it. All the while Barry kept saying, "Come on, Ranie. Keep swimming" in his beautiful Irish brogue. He was relentless. I must have been a bit out of it because I wasn't worried and wanted to play around. But Barry knew better because the water was cold and I needed to keep my engine revving our I might be done. At five hours, Steffan came back in as did the whip cracker, Suzie and dear Stephanie came back in for a double dip. Suzie had gotten me started and she was going to be there for the finish. I was so happy.
I never once wanted to stop. I never once thought about getting out. I never once lost my sense of humor (Jen I will always be embarrassed about how cranky I got with you after six hours in Lake Tahoe).
After the swim, I warmed up with potato chips and coca cola in the sauna (recommended recovery food :), thank you Lynn, and the only ill effect I had was a very unhappy stomach. I don't know if it was the fuel I used or the amount of salt water I drank, but my stomach was very upset. But it passed. I didn't eat much last night, but I am fine today. My shoulders are tired, but not sore. I can't believe how good I feel. I feel like I could do it all over again, but thank god I don't have to today at least. I know that there are more six hour swims in my future, but it feels very good to have this official swim put to bed.
I have crossed all of my "t"s and dotted all of my "i"s. I am Channel bound!

Nervous Excitement

So I don't write for weeks and now I can't stop. I am full of nervous excitement and anticipation. I am excited about getting my qualifier completed and about meeting Steffan, fellow channel aspirant from Arkansas. I am overwhelmed with end of school work, soccer registration work and family guilt. What with physical therapy taking a few hours a week after school, soccer computer work taking hours each night after dinner, and swimming exhaustion, I find it hard to care what I make (or procure) for dinner and the laundry continues to pile up. The dog is the biggest loser. She gets one or two runs a week not a day. Balance is a tricky thing and I have not achieved it. But I keep thinking to myself that after August I can make it up to my family. I hope that counts. I really do because I need to focus and guilt is not a useful emotion.
I am feeling so good inside. This morning I was tired and thought maybe I should sleep in since I have such a big weekend planned. But I know that I ALAWYS feel better when I start my mornings in the water, so I thought I will swim an "active rest" workout and not push myself, but just stretch out and relax. Well just diving in made me so happy. I have a visceral experience every time I dive into the water. It's like a whole body sigh. I relax and feel strong and joyful and lithe. It's wonderful, feeling the soft welcoming water and your body making that graceful (I hope) arc with the bubbles surrounding you. I wish I could explain it, but it is like coming home. Maybe not quite so welcoming diving into the cold bay, but the lovely warm clean pool is a joy. Of course the best laid plans make the best jokes. Steve Haufler was our coach today and there was no room for "active rest". He had planned something a bit more athletic, but I adjusted. I must be growing up. I caught myself and stopped the "coach pleasing" and reminded myself of my needs and my ultimate goal which was not to work at race pace, but to stretch out and relax. I must be growing up.
Think "warm water, calm seas" thoughts for this weekend and send good vibes my way. I'll be in the water most of both days.

Ten Weeks from Today...

The countdown is deafening in my head. Ten weeks from today I will board a plane and fly across the Atlantic to meet my destiny. Dramatic, much? But it feels like that. Now I keep thinking about how those ten weeks will shake out. This weekend is my six hour qualifier, then the Bay to Breakers on June 5th, then school lets out, then I go on vacation to visit my parents (lots of good swimming there, (Connecticut River and Lake Winnepesaukee) and then I have only a month to be ready, and two or three of those weeks will be a taper. Is that enough time? Can I do this? Have I left it too little too late? Sometimes I think I'm done for, and other times I think I've got everything planned out nicely. Time will tell. I just have to keep plugging away at the hours of swimming. Lots of three and four hour swims on the weekends and once school lets out.
Today it's pouring!!! What a bummer, that means the bay will be colder and dirtier this weekend. I hate swimming after a big rain. The water is brown and stirred up. But that's neither here nor there, it must be done. One cool thing is that people are offering to come out and swim with me in the Cove this weekend. Join me for a lap or two? The reply has been a resounding, YES! This club is such a special group of people. Everyone has offered some sort of support at some point during my quest.
I had a bit of mixed news from my soccer club, they offered to let me do my moon lighting registration job, but for less than half of what they paid me last year. Quite the bummer, but better than nothing and I can't turn them down. In essence I have already spent the money. But please, everyone remind me after this escapade, I can't afford another adventure until 2013!!! Someone please hold me to that. I will be digging myself out of debt from this one for most of next year. But that's fair. Dreams don't come cheap. And this is a BIG DREAM!
I keep reminding myself that I am one of the lucky people who have attempted something big, and regardless of the outcome, I have "dared greatly". I have put myself out there, I will be tested, and I will get to France. I fantasize about stepping out of the waves onto the beach in Calais. And I fantasize about the swimming; some big waves, some calm water, some dark times, mostly light, and I am so happy in that English water, and even happier in the reported warmer waters of France. I can't wait.
One more bit of good news, My husband bought his plane ticket too. I didn't actually think he was going to come, but he stepped up and we are off together. I really want him to be there. I think he can't understand this passion of mine, but I am glad that he will be there to witness it. Whatever the outcome, he will have a new view of me, and hopefully a new respect. I hope he won't just see this as "crazy" which is what he thinks now, but as something personal and important, even if just for the doing of it. There is value in testing one's self to the outer limits, because out there in the dark places we learn about our selves. I often tell people that I don't know how I made it to Morocco. I can't account for that last hour of my Gibraltar swim. But I know that I did it, I know that I found something inside myself to get through the difficulty. It wasn't the time, I was only out there for five hours. I could have swum for a long time more, but I wasn't making any progress, and I was dispirited to the point of entertaining giving up. But that was in my head; my body kept swimming, luckily, and I didn't quit. I think I am more mentally prepared this time, I hope, because I will need to be. I bet that there will be several "dark" times on this swim, and I hope that I "just keep swimming", because as Lynne Cox says, "Once you quit, you're done. But if you don't quit, you still have the chance to succeed" (or something like that - please excuse my paraphrasing).
Sunday is the next big test. I haven't gone for more than three hours in the bay and I have to go more than six. Here comes a test. I look forward to the challenge.

Bought Me a Ticket, Hopped on a Plane...

I bought my ticket to England today!!! I am so excited, but also feeling a bit sick to my stomach. This makes it real! Somehow I could have still backed out until now. I know I was fooling myself, but our minds can do crazy things to help us sleep at night. But now, I have my plane ticket, I have my boat pilot, I've paid my CSA association fees, and last but not least, I am swimming my six hour qualifying swim this weekend. I am blown away with how real this all is. I am going to swim the English Channel! Ten weeks from tomorrow!!! I'll never be ready. Oh right, I probably never will feel ready, but I will be ready. I have some good swims ahead, six hours in the Cove at Aquatic Park this Sunday, and then the Bay to Breakers the following weekend. Then school will be out for the summer and I can swim in the bay every day until I leave. This is so exciting, and a bit sobering. God, I hope I can do this. As people keep telling me, it's really just swimming from one feed to the next. If I figure out some good fuel, I should be looking forward to the next one, right? My heart is so full...

Things are going well...

I was just about to title this "Back on Track" but I see I was already back. This is a good sign. It means that I am aware that I was in a slump recently, but that I have been feeling good for a while too. I swam a "two-a-day" this week, just like the high school swimmers. I had not tried that before. I swam my morning Masters workout (just over an hour) and then went to a "lap swim" session at an other pool for two hours that night. I felt very proud of myself. I set a goal and stuck to it. And then the next morning I got up and went swimming with my Masters group again. Very satisfying! And I was surprised at how well I felt. Not very sore, a bit sleepy at work, but good in general. The next afternoon I had Physical therapy and they are working wonders on my shoulders. I think if I can keep going to PT for the remainder of my training I will have it made. I know I need to strengthen the little muscles surrounding my shoulders, and stretch the big ones, but it is good to have someone (Crystal and Kris) work their magic on my muscles and tendons. It hurts like hell, but there is always ice!

Back on Track

Life feels like it is back on track. I haven't fixed my money worries, and the Bay is still freaking freezing (OK 55-56 degrees is getting better) but I had such a fun weekend that I feel like I will make my goal. Thursday I was depressed and mad at the world which often seems to correspond to the mornings I don't go to my masters swim workout, so I took the dog for a long hard hilly run after work. This was a bad idea because Friday was the Run, Jump, Swim event at the club. So after making myself go swimming before work (to lighten my bad mood) and the hard run the day before, I was sore and tired for the RJS. The event was to run from the front door of our club in San Francisco, around to the end of the Muni Pier (about 2/3s of a mile), vault over the wall and swim back to the club beach (about 1/3 of a mile), run through the club and do it all over again. The contest is to see how many laps you can do in one hour. I thought I would be brilliant and wear my "five-finger" vibram running shoes because I thought I could leave them on and swim in them. Well, they worked OK in the swim, but running on concrete with no support or cushioning, and I was all but crippled the next day. My calves are so bunched up, I can barely walk. Boy do I feel stupid. But I made four laps, placed 15th (out of 30 :-) and had a blast! It was fun running through the crowds of tourists in my bathing suit, cap, and goggles... and I love jumping off of things into water, always have. There was a fabulous party afterwards. It was the South End at it's finest. Saturday, I had planned on swimming for two hours in the bay, but I only made 1.5. It was a beautiful morning in the bay. I swam with John Brooks (who is off to swim Gibraltar in three weeks) and we swam to Fort MAson and back to the club, and then did an Outside/Inside and back to the club and then I quit. So I was disappointed in myself. My shoulders are sore, and I have burning pain in the right bicep. But I "quit" and that's not OK. Reasons aside, it is important to do what you say you are going to do. So today, Sunday, I went to the pool and swam for over three hours. I needed to stay at it, and not give up because of the cold or pain, and I did. I learned a bit about the mental work I need to do too. At just over one hour, I wanted to pack it in, but after the second hour, I was happy and well. And just after the third hour, when the guard came to tell me that I had to get out, I had energy to spare and did a "fast" hundred to close out the session. I could have stayed for a while longer. My shoulders are sore, but not painful. I am feeling strong and hopeful. Next weekend I have a swim clinic/lesson and will slack off a bit, and then the following weekend, Memorial Day, I am scheduled to swim my six hour qualifying swim. I am so excited and I feel ready. I need to stay positive. I have been looking over my log and I have been working towards this goal for over 19 weeks. That is a long time. I need to realise and appreciate my dedication. The English Channel is a huge goal, and I am putting in huge effort. This is something to be proud of. I have eleven weeks remaining. I need to stay focused, and get down to the hard stuff. In four weeks, school will be over, and then I can really put in the time and swim in the bay every day. Life is good, and I am feeling strong.

An Even Better Day...for so many reasons

I am still bubbling over with good feelings and happiness. Last night my club held it's annual Cinco de Mayo event, the dreaded "Five Coves of Death". I think the name is a bit dramatic since we are in the safe haven of the Aquatic Park Cove, but it is a truly difficult swim. It begins at 5:00 pm and you swim five circuits of the cove which is roughly five miles if you hug the perimeter. And since it's May 5th the water is COLD! Do I harp on that theme a bit? Sorry, but it has been bothering me a lot. But last night I broke through the mental barrier and completed all five coves in 2:29 minutes. Last Sunday I had attempted the same thing and pulled out after only three. For the past few weeks I have not been able to stay in the bay longer than 1:30. Last night proved that it was just a mental hurdle and not I am over it. After the swim I was euphoric. The kind of high one rarely gets with out chemical assistant (heck even with chemicals it's rare). The camaraderie, the support, the excitement the fabulous weather, the fabulous food and friends all made for a wonderful event. I love the mighty South End Rowing Club.

A Great Day - For No Reason 5.3.11

Today I feel great. I can't explain why, and I don't care. My right shoulder hurts enough for me to make an appointment with my doctor and to go see a physical therapist. I saw the PT today and am very encouraged. I see the doctor on Thursday and know that he too will help me get to France. I had a rough weekend. I tried to swim the Five Coves of Death in preparation for the Bay to Breakers swim. I was unsuccessful, a first for me. I got too damn cold. But more truthfully, I got scared about the cold. I was worried that swimming alone and far from a place to get out, that I might get so cold that I might do something stupid, so I got out early. I am going to try again on Thursday evening and I know I can make it. With the camaraderie of a few more swimmers in the cove and some support crafts, I know I can stay in there for five coves. And after that... six hours! I am dying to get my six hour qualifying swim out of the way. God only knows why. I will just have to do a longer one the minute it's done. But that's the idea, right?
I got my copy of the British H2O Open Water Swimming Magazine today. It is so inspiring. A big glossy magazine full of open water swimming pictures, advice, and stories. I love it!
I emailed many people this last week asking for a pep talk and everyone got back to me. I was worried that I was going off track. I couldn't decide whether to swim in the Bay for less time, but in the cold, or in the pool for the longer time but in the warmer water. I think I will do a bit of both. Swim in the bay for as long as I can, and then hit the pool to round out a few more hours... But it is the response that was so wonderful. This group of people are so caring and helpful. I love this sport. It is so difficult to explain to someone why one might want to train endlessly to swim the English Channel, but if I could just introduce them to the people I have met through this endeavor, they would understand immediately. Everyone is so generous with their information, and heartfelt encouragement. And they are all over the world, doing similar stuff. It is incredible and yet somehow just what you would expect. Swimmers are nice people. Maybe it's stripping down to your skivvies and hanging out in public, it takes away much of the bull shit. Maybe it's the cold water that softens our brains, but count me in, I love it.
I am feeling very lucky to be able to pursue this amazing dream.

Where Did April Go?

Somehow I have neglected to write... maybe because I would have whined too much. It's funny but some days have been fabulous, where all is right with my swimming, my plan, and my goal, and then there are the black days where my shoulder hurts, I feel fat, and weak, and I can't believe I was stupid enough to send over $2,000 dollars off to England on a crazy dream. Today is somewhere in between. I have been keeping up with my swimming goals fairly closely. I have not hit all of my weekend long swims, but not because of lack of will, but do to cold water in the bay. I have it in my head that time in the bay is better than time in the pool. Who knows, and if I can only stand 1.5 hours in the Bay then perhaps I should jump in the pool in the afternoon, but so far I have not. I have done several "double dips" of an hour in the bay, and hour warming up and then getting back in for another hour. That is good too. I have settled on my food for at least my six hour qualifier. I plan to use Accelerade, by itself, Perpetuem mixed with Accelerade (tastes better), and GU for caffeine and a change of flavors. I will see how well this works on the six hour swim.

My right shoulder is giving me problems. I have seen the Physio and am icing it after swimming. It is not really "injured", but I need to fix my stroke to make it go away. I am not following my own best advice; I am not going to yoga every week. I need to make an effort to fix this. I need to stretch more even if it means I swim less. But swimming is easy. I have that figured out, when, where, how, yoga is an additional expense, and a different time... there is always some excuse isn't there? I think it's interesting that I always feel like there is more that I need to do, when everyone around me thinks I do so much. It's a strange reality. Training for something so big, I fear that what ever I do it will not be enough. But I guess that's where the faith and trust come in. Faith in yourself, and trust in the process. I am doing the best that I can do today. I find that I am always the most unsure during my "rest weeks". I know that rest is invaluable, but I do love my endorphins. So in my rest week, I cut my workouts in half and I focus on drills and technique. It seems to work well, and if I want to sleep in one morning, I do, but this is rare. After getting up at 5:15 am for the past six plus years it's not that hard.

4-15-11 On Track

I haven't been writing. I don't know why, but it's probably fear. I have been obsessing about how cold the Bay is and how ill prepared I am for it which is all counter productive. I know the water will warm up, and if need be I can go somewhere else to do my six hour qualifying swim. So problem solved, get on with it and train!
I met with Leslie Thomas, a swim coach, channel swimmer, and pilot. She was very encouraging about my training and very helpful in getting my long swims organized. I have been in touch with several people to get advice on fuel and nutrition. I think I have a very good handle on what I will use. My plan at present is to use Accelerade (carbohydrate: protein energy drink) Pertpetuem (a more caloric sustained energy drink equal to Maxim) and GU (for variety of flavor and caffeine). I can't really handle solid food in the water. Now I just need to get into a body of water that is 60 degrees and big enough for a six hour swim and a support boat.